The WBF humor and joke thread.

treitz3

Super Moderator
#1
In an effort to lighten the mood here at the WBF, I thought I would create a lighthearted thread that we can all relax in and possibly gain a chuckle or two. Please make your posts tasteful.

I will start. I saw this on Facebook tonight and thought it was rather funny.



So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.... and the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can't cross the road.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Tom
 

Gregadd

WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
6,606
54
48
Metro DC
#3
Al Sharpton pre-weight loss.
Put that chicken in a deep fryer.
 
Jul 25, 2012
2,541
5
38
NY
#5
[TABLE="width: 95%, align: center"]
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As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts, etc. Finally, she said, "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Campbell, and crew take you safely to your destination."

Joe sitting in the eighth row thought to himself, "Did I hear her right? Is the captain a woman?"

When the attendants came by with the drink cart, he said, "Did I understand you right? Is the captain a woman?"

"Yes," said the attendant, "In fact, this entire crew is female."

"My God," said Joe, "I'd better have two scotch and sodas. I don't know what to think of all those women up there in the cockpit."

"That's another thing sir," said the attendant, "We no longer call it the cockpit. It's the box office."
[/TD]
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Last edited:
Jul 25, 2012
2,541
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#6
Jul 25, 2012
2,541
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#7
Jul 25, 2012
2,541
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#8

RayDunzl

New Member
Jun 26, 2014
289
1
0
Tampa
#9
"It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke." - Carla Bley
 

Gregadd

WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
6,606
54
48
Metro DC
#12
A woman headed out the door upon leaving her audiophile husband...and another thing your speakers never sounded like I was in the presence of a live orchestra.
I lied.
 

Gregadd

WBF Founding Member
Apr 20, 2010
6,606
54
48
Metro DC
#13
Another Al Sharpton- the chicken did not cross the road

It was kidnapped. The police just don't want to do their job
 
Dec 4, 2015
190
0
0
Somerset, uk
#14
A woman headed out the door upon leaving her audiophile husband...and another thing your speakers never sounded like I was in the presence of a live orchestra.
I lied.
And strait into the arms of another audiophile that's even more obsessive....

Then her dad phones her to say how glad he is that she is leaving that idiot husband... " no matter how often I told that dumb skull he still never toe'd in his speakers enough, how anyone lives with that soundstage is beyond me, i hope this next guy can set up hifi better than the last one!.. You really deserve better!"

" thanks dad I knew you would understand "

Rinse and repeat, you got to love them :D
 
Dec 4, 2015
190
0
0
Somerset, uk
#16
Acute observational humour is hit and miss around here.. More miss so fell back to the more universality recognised male language of demeaning woman through sexiest humour.

Goal! :D

Thanks for giving me something to work with, now we can laugh together.

Ps tried to shoe in a reference to the constitution but could not manage it:D
Oh I just did....now it's just me laughing again doh!
 
Jul 1, 2010
8,677
2
0
#17
A variation on a theme by Richard Thompson:

A Europarty in Heaven: The English greet you at the door, the French cook, the Italians supply the entertainment and the Germans organize the whole thing.

A Europarty in Hell: The French greet you at the door, the English cook, the Italians organize the whole thing and the Germans provide the entertainment.

Tim
 
Likes: adamaley

rbbert

Active Member
Dec 12, 2010
3,416
4
38
Reno, NV
#18
A variation on a theme by Richard Thompson:

A Europarty in Heaven: The English greet you at the door, the French cook, the Italians supply the entertainment and the Germans organize the whole thing.

A Europarty in Hell: The French greet you at the door, the English cook, the Italians organize the whole thing and the Germans provide the entertainment.

Tim
Stereotypes but oh so true FWIW I have all of those ethnicities/nationalities in my (fairly) recent genetic heritage.
 

bonzo75

Member Sponsor
Feb 26, 2014
11,645
1,460
113
London
#19
A variation on a theme by Richard Thompson:

A Europarty in Heaven: The English greet you at the door, the French cook, the Italians supply the entertainment and the Germans organize the whole thing.

A Europarty in Hell: The French greet you at the door, the English cook, the Italians organize the whole thing and the Germans provide the entertainment.

Tim
An audioforum in heaven: Bonzo travels to listen to components and recommends, Marty crosses over the speakers and woofer, ddk sets up the analog, Amir does the measurements, Steve W moderates the activity

An audioforum in hell: Blizzard does the recommendations, Blizzard sets up the system, Blizzard posts about the experience, Spaz replies to it, Amir moderates the activity. Obviously no one sets up the analog
 
Dec 4, 2015
190
0
0
Somerset, uk
#20
An audioforum in heaven: Bonzo travels to listen to components and recommends, Marty crosses over the speakers and woofer, ddk sets up the analog, Amir does the measurements, Steve W moderates the activity

An audioforum in hell: Blizzard does the recommendations, Blizzard sets up the system, Blizzard posts about the experience, Spaz replies to it, Amir moderates the activity. Obviously no one sets up the analog
There goes the virtual tumbleweed.... :D
 

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