Firstly, I am sorry Hugh, as it will be a small hijackto your topic, but if a new topic opens on this, feel free to move my answer there.
Maybe there was a language problem
@QuadDiffusor I did not try to sound unfriendly, on the contrary I wanted to be of help just pointing out some stuff I have read on your post. You already are an interested person, have some knowledge on the subject and it seemed you do not have a contractor yet. If you did I would not even comment so as not to be disrespectful to your designer and to their/your choices. There are so many points you have made and I will try and give my opinions on them as much as my knowledge and time allows.
1. I could not fully understand what you are trying to say here about generic absorption but if you are talking about the calculation on absorption on amroc, you have it in Sabin units. It shows how much sabin is needed for that target reverberation time, you do not have to take total m2, you can calculate according to your chosen absorbers. You also do not have to get generic products, there are many absorbers on the market with lab tested results you can refer to when planning your room.
Also rt60 may only be taken as indicative here because in your slightly larger space we are still in the domain of small room acoustics. There are series of early reflected energies and not a well mixed sound-field in a small room, no reverberations to mask these early reflections hence RT60 is not much of a relevant metric for small rooms. The reason that makes rt60 measurement less relevant also is the reason why we try and control these early reflections in a small room, be it with absorption or diffusion.
As you already know diffusion is not the same with absorption, they both have uses and can not be used interchangeably. I have used both of them in my own room, my demo room, and in many of my clients rooms. I even have a unique diffusing product on the market that actually diffuses as purely as possible without negative effects of diffraction and non linear absorption. Yes, all diffusers are also absorbing in non linear fashion, some of them much more than others depending on their shape and material.
Soundstage creation actually do not need your room or your wall reflections. Even if you have listened in an open place, the stereo recording would create the illusion of stereo panaroma. Correct treatment with absorbers (and diffusion where it is needed) does not dilute soundstage, it brings you closer to what is recorded and how engineers envisioned that soundfield. Maybe this is not the case for you but I had clients who were used to a lot of reflections and were firstly taken aback by what they heard. This happens, most people do not prefer to hear what is on the recording because that is not what they are used to. After they spent time with it some get it and could not go back to that but some can still prefer the other way, it is their own room, their own pleasure and I have no say in that. I can also not help with that as I do not know then what their target is. As we are trying to reproduce and not recreate, our aim is to have as little non linearity as possible in the whole chain of music reproduction. My philosophy for small listening rooms is based on "we are listeners and not engineers or musicians, we try to get to what engineer has decided to put on record". If I design recording/tracking rooms, concert halls what I would do is very different and is harder as there is no set goal for that. That becomes part of artistic creation. We are lucky, there is a set goal for the listening/reproduction room and that is the fidelity to signal recorded.
2. The room size is measured from solid walls. That is the room. Do not get hung up if your room is slightly out of the desired proportions area. Your room size is quite good and well proportioned and can be engineered acoustically to sound great. Also remember, below schroeder your room is a resonator and that is how you will treat it, above it, you can think of the sound like billiard balls and treat accordingly. I am writing this as you were talking about resonances over 80hz.
3. I did not say I am against carbon absorbers, I personally have not heard this treatment. I just wanted to point out that, it was not the only solution. You can have corner bass traps with appropriate dimensions and filling materials, membrane absorbers, helmholtz etc. When I read your post, I thought you were thinking you had to get a lot of these carbon absorbers. I have received tests on AVAA last week, it does work but I would prefer passive solutions if space permits.
4. Yes room modes are everywhere but certain frequencies are stronger on certain areas and that is how we can efficiently work on lessening their effects. The models show us where to treat so we are much more efficient. It would also prevent you from over treating your room.
Please do not be against any type of acoustic treatments, each has a role but each has to be used in the right amount and in the right way.
All in all, I would say good luck with your space and I hope you do not get me wrong this time. My only reason to be on this forum is to have a good, enjoyable time, learn from others experiences, share my own and make a few friends on the way.