I've been around live music all my life, acoustic, amplified, electronic, as a listener and performer. The term "reference" means different things to different folk, and I use it different ways as well. Sometimes it means the absolute best, the reference against all else is judged. Other times it is more like a baseline against which other things are compared, sometimes better, sometimes worse (or maybe just different). There are times I really appreciate a live performance, and times I much prefer the recording, for all the usual reasons (the enveloping sound of a concert hall, the intimate presence of a jazz club, versus the ability to really listen to the music in a great recording and pick up nuances hard to catch in a live setting, or maybe I just don't feel like going out, or want to listen to certain songs rather than whatever the group is doing, or listen to songs from multiple groups, etc.) Some venues are poor and yet the (live) music shines through, and sometimes the performance just isn't what I expected or hoped it would be. Sometimes the recording is poorly mastered or recorded and just has no hope of feeling "real". Too many variables.
I would not apply the word "reference" when considering how I judge my system with respect to live music; I would say live instruments, music, and performances (rehearsals, plinking at a friend's house, etc.) provide the context for my listening. That means at times the sound from my system may not be true to life but is the way I like to hear it. Sometimes I like the snap of a drum or piano hammer strike to be sharper and more percussive than it often is live, and I may prefer instruments more in the background behind a singer than they are in a live performance. Or vice versa.
All IME/IMO/FWIWFM/my 0.000001 cent (microcent), etc. - Don
Very good!