Like everything in life it depends. I try to frequent 2-3 dealers here that I know well.
Years ago I befriended a local dealer who became a good friend. We did contra deals with me supplying services from my business and he equipment. It was a place to hang , have a cup of tea and shoot the breeze on occasion. Sadly he passed away too young.
I get stuff dropped off at my home just because dealers want an opinion. I have never paid a deposit. However, If it was with a dealer with a new relationship I totally get it.
For those small operatives that manufacture and sell direct. You've got to expect that you will be shipping across country along with unfortunate dents and bruises on equipment- it becomes part of the business.
Right now I have a top level DAC here, a top level SUT and will have the Kuzma Saphire here in the coming days for evaluation. I have had CH here this past year and some top level Greek electronics- I was that close to the CH------ it didn't happen. However, I see something from the line in my near future- the loan convinced me of it. All evaluations no fees. Often they deliver and I deliver back.
Funny enough I have never requested a cartridge for evaluation. Although one dealer would oblige. That's a lot of trust. On very expensive cartridges- I just pull my wallet out- try them and then move on if it does not work out,.
The DAC I did not even request- but dealer wanted an opinion. All these guys I consider friends though - - Unfortunately, I am becoming a grey haired "seasoned" audiophile so I am experienced and not at all dangerous nor nefarious. LoL