A Bucket List By-Product - A psychological insight as opposed to audio Part 1 of 2
When I realized that this system would be my last major system change because of it's cost and my desire to retire soon, officially ending my ability to go to a higher level when it arrives, which it will cause it always does, I wanted a catchy name that might attract readers so that my thoughts and observations might help them with their fantasies and future audio decisions, I decided to call it My Bucket List System. At that point I was not focusing on the fact that this would be my single biggest purchase to date in my life, and that it is directly related to when to retire, it would no doubt trigger thoughts about what really matters to me so that I can prioritize appropriately.
Let me state that in my book, Bucket List is more about experiences than money, although many times money is needed to have the experience My personal feeling is that the best feelings are free and more the product of having wonderful people in your life than having money. Since my retirement was delayed to make this purchase because it was now or never and one of my lifelong goals, the entire process went way beyond audio and more towards what is important to me experientially before I go to the next level, whatever that is.
Therefore, I have been willing to be more inclined to take what I believe are more risks than normal, which means to do some things my gut suggest I pass on.
Last week Steve Williams, Marty and I went to Telluride CO, where Marty has had a luxury time share for the past 20 years. Even though it was my third time there, it is such a beautiful place that it virtually forces introspection. While I knew there would be audio talk because after all we are the tres (audio) amigos, I had no idea what would be the biggest lesson of the week, although my gut was trying to inform me for the past month, when Marty told me were going mountain biking. If you know Marty, then you know that his style is to underplay things and let you discover for yourself.
I, on the other hand, have been prone to too much presell, and thus tried not to give it too much thought, since I do not like this part of my personality since I am one of the people I frequently presell and thus increase the chance of unnecessary disappointment. In my presell to me, I thought the mountain biking would take place on the ski area slopes, which I had skied and could see, and thus deemed feasible, despite being out of shape (70 years old with little to no exercise) showing increasing signs that I need to get back in shape.
As the trip approached, I became increasingly concerned about the wisdom of this trip for me. When at the shop where we rented the bikes and obtained a guide, I asked how hard the trip is and they said not too bad, but then this is what they do for a living and their daily hobby and live in Telluride and thus altitude adjusted, and they are younger than my daughters.-------So I let my head make the decision instead of my much more realistic gut.
On the way up to the beginning of the trip, the guide mentioned that the trip is 14 miles, but no problem because it is downhill. Instead of hearing this as something to truly consider, I went with "good thing it is not 14 miles uphill (because that would be a definite no) but went with I should be able to do it, downhill, good balance and all." Somehow at that moment I forget about altitude sickness, which all of us had been battling, and in my case with quick episodes of tuning out for a second or two.
At first the trip was not very hard. I instantly started selling myself that as long as I remember my limits all would be well. Unfortunately, in the majesty of being in the mountains above 10,000 feet and not fatigued I said go forward. While the mountain bikes had very oversized tires and we were riding on combinations of compacted dirt and loose slippery fragments from previous dynamite explosions, I did not want to admit my fears limitations and probably most of all, my terrible state of being out of shape for which I have nobody to blame but myself.
The environment in which we were riding is impossible to describe because of its majestic beauty with one Vista being outdone by the next. If you’ve never been to Telluride or seen pictures, do yourself a favor and look up Telluride Colorado in your browser and click images and you’ll instantly understand what I’m talking about. As the road went on I was feeling pretty good, because it was downhill after all. After a couple of miles we were met by the fellow with the van and the bike trailer for our first snack and of course I concluded this trip is not a problem for me, although I forgot to add “at this point” to my thoughts. I had witnessed Steve having some troubles where I had none, which while I was concerned for Steve, also gave me a false sense of confidence and accomplishment.
A little farther down the trail we got to a point where Steve wisely decided to walk the steep part and I foolishly said to myself, not me, and when I successfully traversed that spot my confidence was boosted even further. I do not want to make this post as long as the 2 ½ to 3 hours it took to traverse the 14 miles despite it being downhill so I will skip a large portion that I’m sure Steve at this point would have rather skipped in reality because that was the segment where he ran into trouble including a face plant into a rock, but I fortunately had no serous problems. After an uphill trek where Marty and Steve were sucking some wind but for some reason I was not, I told myself that my concerns were unfounded and I should just chill and enjoy the beautiful experience.
Without trying to be dramatic envision a mountain slope that is dropping thousands of feet at an angle well in excess of 45 degrees where somebody has come along and blasted with ample amounts of dynamite this solid granite edifice to create a triangular wedge along which they could walk and in some places use as the bed for a very narrow gauge railroad to carry mining supplies and the fruits of their mining back down from their mines that were frequently above the 12,000 foot mark. For the most part there was enough width that as someone who is not afraid of heights and in fact likes heights I was rather comfortable because to that point which I’m told was about 7 miles into the trip I had managed to keep the mountain bike in continuous control even though it was perilously easy for it to go out of control if you were doing anything other than straight ahead and the front tire was on the ground. I now know that’s why many mountain bikers pull up their handlebars as they sit way back on their seat and change direction at least in part when the front tire is not on the ground acting like a shovel because it’s not going straight. Unfortunately this orientation means that instead of the sidewalls being responsible solely for keeping the tires aligned they were now sort of curving under the wheel causing the front tire not to track properly and to slide, which means if you don’t correct it within a second you are out of control.
I can’t tell you how fast what I’m about to describe happened or even why it happened although I have a theory that I believe is at least somewhat on target. I knew I was getting fatigued because even though it was downhill and for the most part within my skill range, I started for the first time on that trip to really experience short probably less than a second of cerebral altitude symptomatology, which felt like short
periods, maybe a second, of being totally spaced (i.e. not able to insure that I keep the handle bars straight so the front tire would not skid, increasing the chance that the bike would fall over as the side wall of the front tire rolled under the wheel and began plowing.