AlThat's what I have. Grid connected solar on my roof and not an EV. I have solar for environmental responsibility, and since 2016 I drive a small and light ICE car (Nissan Versa SE) with great gas mileage, also for reasons of environmental responsibility -- and wow, is it fun to drive!
At this point I don't think it makes sense to me to switch to EV based on environmental considerations, for all the reasons you have mentioned.
Making the new car costs tremendous energy, and I'll drive mine until it's dead.
Like you I have a large grid on my roof and make enough solar to satisfy home needs as well as enough to charge both cars. I have yet to have an electric bill in over 5 years now. Im looking finally to add batteries in my garage which will for sure keep me off the grid. I've stated here many times that my goal might be different than others as our utility company (SDGE) is the most expensive in their nation. On peak cost is $0.62/kwh