I see a strong perspective running through your posts, Graham. I don't know what to call it, zen-like or buddist-like; perhaps I'm off base here. I believe we are different enough from one another that we may have difficulty communicating. But we can continue to try.
Each of us has his beliefs and perspectives. Imo these are part of who we are. New experiences may add to or alter our beliefs without the need to deconstruct ourselves from ourselves. I don't need to 'empty the vessel' in order to learn. Certain beliefs or principles we may not want to give up, perhaps we have reasons for holding them.
I just got back from visiting with David and Peter - in no way did I think we were siloed off from one another, just the opposite. I learned from each and we learned together, because I felt we each acted in good faith. I believe you act in good faith. Some here do not. That, imo, is a precondition to receptivity, to learning.