Agreed. 30-50 hours max before a Koetsu is singing at 100%. Agreed again on the arm! If you blasted your budget on the cartridge, you can look out for a used Fidelity Research FR64fx, as they're not too steep (~ $1300 in decent condition) and really bring out the beauty of a Koetsu. Either copper or silver internal wire versions are fine - I've used both. The FR64S is even better sounding and looks gorgeous (when cleaned), for a bit more when they appear. Throw on a 20g headshell (like Ikeda), some new silver leads, and you'll have plenty of mass to work the stiff suspension, resulting in a sparkling sound quality. The condition of bearings on the arm you receive is the risk and wildcard here.
I also have a Graham Phantom Supreme - they're definitely not high mass but somehow they are actually quite good for a modern arm pairing to Koetsu; there are a LOT worse choices out there (VPI unipivots - bad, Clearaudio Universal - bad, etc). You will hear *most* of what Koetsu can do with that arm. But I do feel that the FR arms take it up another notch - that's what Sugano Sr. used himself, after all!
You might try some "tricks" to see if adding mass to the Graham improves the Koetsu any, I haven't tried any myself yet, e.g. the SoundSmith heavy thumb screws. Running a smaller counterweight as far out into the stub as possible also increases effective mass, though not sure we have much of a counterweight option with Graham.
I do have to say the adjustability and ease of setup of the Graham arm is absolutely fantastic; it's hard to give that up.