The WBF humor and joke thread.
- Thread starter treitz3
- Start date
Hahahaaa!!!
Perhaps a better second part would be 'Blizzard replies to it, Blizzard moderates the activity'
A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
This is not only instructional with practical applications, but is also fun to watch, leaving you with a smile:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5h1RSyfZoo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5h1RSyfZoo
These two kind of go together:
Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion.
After meeting several of her friends and former schoolmates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.
The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.
Wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!
******
A Doctors Lecture
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa."The
material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be
disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm
caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have,or
will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the
front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion.
After meeting several of her friends and former schoolmates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.
The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance.
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, breakdancing, moonwalking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.
Wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!
******
A Doctors Lecture
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa."The
material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be
disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm
caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have,or
will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the
front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."
Greg, when you listen to the entire video you discover the entire truth about our world, and to me it could be real funny or just the opposite...it depends.
Humor is like that in life...making fun of facts. ...As a reminder that taking ourselves seriously is the end of the end.
And that's the greatest tragedy because way too many people are taking things way too seriously and that affects everyone else around.
This guy looks serious (from the video), but is funny in the verity revealed, in a very casual way, without fanfare.
It is sad, our world, ISIS, people killing other people for listening to music, for not praying.
Nothing humor about someone killing someone else for his wallet.
Humor is not serious, it's funny. We a funny race. That video is funny. The audio world is sometimes very funny, and way too serious too. ...It depends...of the balance.
____________
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Humor is like that in life...making fun of facts. ...As a reminder that taking ourselves seriously is the end of the end.
And that's the greatest tragedy because way too many people are taking things way too seriously and that affects everyone else around.
This guy looks serious (from the video), but is funny in the verity revealed, in a very casual way, without fanfare.
It is sad, our world, ISIS, people killing other people for listening to music, for not praying.
Nothing humor about someone killing someone else for his wallet.
Humor is not serious, it's funny. We a funny race. That video is funny. The audio world is sometimes very funny, and way too serious too. ...It depends...of the balance.
____________
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
The beautiful blonde went into the bar and proceeded to flirt with a gentleman.
Smiling, and with a friendly voice, T.G.I.F. she said to him.
He was a bit confused and replied S.H.I.T.
Again she said T.G.I.F. while loosening her blouse as she smiled at him, and again he replied S.H.I.T.
T.G.I.F. she said. S.H.I.T. he replied.
Hey mister, I'm trying to be nice and you keep saying S.H.I.T.
He said that's right.
Sorry Honey, Its Thursday!
Smiling, and with a friendly voice, T.G.I.F. she said to him.
He was a bit confused and replied S.H.I.T.
Again she said T.G.I.F. while loosening her blouse as she smiled at him, and again he replied S.H.I.T.
T.G.I.F. she said. S.H.I.T. he replied.
Hey mister, I'm trying to be nice and you keep saying S.H.I.T.
He said that's right.
Sorry Honey, Its Thursday!
It is...mostly liberal. Stats...90% of the people in major mass media are registered democrats...aka liberals.
Similar threads
 | Steve Williams Site Founder | Site Owner | Administrator |  | Ron Resnick Site Co-Owner | Administrator |  | Julian (The Fixer) Website Build | Marketing Managersing |