The WBF humor and joke thread.
- Thread starter treitz3
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It's $42,000 for two.
For that money I can buy a Camry, a Lexus, a Tesla. And I don't need to shower @ 42,000 feet high.
For that money I can buy a Camry, a Lexus, a Tesla. And I don't need to shower @ 42,000 feet high.
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Husband Down:
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife.
They carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $40 jar of face Cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
That's him, there in Aisle 5.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $20 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife.
They carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $40 jar of face Cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
That's him, there in Aisle 5.
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal…
The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again
The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again
Thoughts from the Shower
Which letter is silent in the word "Scent", the S or the C?
Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
If poison expires, is it more poisonous or it it no longer poisonous?
Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
The word "swims" upside down is still "swims".
Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
100 yrs ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had 2 yrs to live in 1953 are probably dead.
If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to
each of them.
Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day".
Which letter is silent in the word "Scent", the S or the C?
Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
If poison expires, is it more poisonous or it it no longer poisonous?
Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
The word "swims" upside down is still "swims".
Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
100 yrs ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had 2 yrs to live in 1953 are probably dead.
If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to
each of them.
Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we'll just call it "2's Day".
Correct, in the french language it is double-V.
I suspect it was changed in the english language because in an old english font, the W looked more like a double-U
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